If It Goes Without Saying, Maybe Don’t Say It?

As a manager, some of my best work comes from the edit.

Did you know that you don’t have to say everything you are thinking, all of the time? There’s a reason why we are drawn to people who are mysterious, but even more than that, TMI is exhausting.

Earlier today, I was asked to recommend some instructors who would be best at dealing with a certain condition, a rare situation. In typing my response, I was provided a few names, and then I typed “but not X.”

Then, I deleted it….for several reasons. 1. It felt mean and judgmental. It was. 2. This instructor has an completely different focus in their work and this case would be a stretch. So, it goes without saying that they would not be recommended. 3. This instructor finds themselves in challenging situations that often give me more work, which means that I am really quick to judge because this person frustrates me. I have to temper my feelings so that I can treat them fairly.

I love email because I can do this all the time. When a member wants their money back on a late cancel, I can edit out my disdain. When someone asks me a stupid question, I can remove my judgement.

In person, I have learned to pause in difficult situations so that I have space to internally edit before I say or do something I regret. Never underestimate the power of the phrase, “Let me think about that.” When I am being my best self, I am able to calmly put that forth when I might normally feel compelled to disagree or shut down an idea or request.

When it comes down to it, everyone deserves to be considered and respected. Pausing, taking time to hear someone out, and taking time to make an impartial decision has really never failed me. Even when the decision is not in that person’s favor, being heard out pays out positive emotional dividends.